Baby Names

Naming a child is a strange thing... My sister-in-law is pregnant, so of course she and my brother (and everyone else in the world) are trying to think of baby names. They (she) has picked out a couple of names they (she) like best. I gave my input on the situation by offering them such gems as Lex, Lion-O, Pierre, and my favorite: Greg.

Personally, I don't like my name (my whole name, that is). It is like a curse that follows me throughout my cursed life. Naming a child is a great responsibility. And with great responsibility comes great power. (Yes, I flipped it...take THAT, Spiderman.) Seriously, it's a lot of power.

It may never happen, but I often wonder if I'll make a good father. I wonder if I'll be firm enough of a disciplinarian to teach the kid right from wrong. But maybe NAMING a baby gives you that initial sense of power even before you start out on the parenting path. You have already, in a way, mapped out their life for them. For instance, if you've named your son with a common girl's name, you've already given that kid years of bullying, just waiting for them. If you name him or her with a ghetto name, he or she will probably grow up to be president...of the ghetto.

So, name your child wisely. Put a lot of thought into it. Think about THEM. This topic always make me think of The Simpsons, when Homer is trying to decide what to name his son that wouldn't rhyme with anything funny (so he wouldn't be teased). So he says, "I'll name him Bart. Nothing funny rhymes with Bart."